found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
