She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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