...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
