Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He's on the porch naked. Help.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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