wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
