i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
