I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
