We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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