Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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