that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
