I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
