my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
