We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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