u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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