Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
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I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
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This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.