man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
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I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
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I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids