Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  oh fuck your right

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  (214): i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can. (1-214): oh fuck your right http://tfl.nu/6rmf
  Replies (21) Good night (4392) Bad night (804)
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  (212): View more from New York

  where am i from again

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  (212): where am i from again http://tfl.nu/9ocs
  Replies (6) Good night (2967) Bad night (586)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.

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  (647): TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW. http://tfl.nu/946s
  Replies (13) Good night (6145) Bad night (949)
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  (631): View more from New York

  we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,

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  (631): we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars, http://tfl.nu/j4u2
  Replies (14) Good night (5084) Bad night (764)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad

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  (732): I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad http://tfl.nu/c88e
  Replies (15) Good night (4681) Bad night (918)
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  (516): View more from New York

  You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?

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  (516): You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you? http://tfl.nu/3dbu
  Replies (8) Good night (4723) Bad night (1002)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  What did I eat last night that was bloody?

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  (515): What did I eat last night that was bloody? http://tfl.nu/w6f4
  Replies (19) Good night (718) Bad night (6691)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.

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  (712): They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem. http://tfl.nu/r408
  Replies (6) Good night (2396) Bad night (961)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other

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  (608): I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other http://tfl.nu/go45
  Replies (15) Good night (3407) Bad night (1007)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.

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  (706): I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries. http://tfl.nu/bagw
  Replies (2) Good night (1618) Bad night (839)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  How did it go last night?

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?

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  (416): How did it go last night? (647): Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad? http://tfl.nu/bq72
  Replies (6) Good night (1317) Bad night (1439)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...

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  (520): Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour... http://tfl.nu/y7yu
  Replies (5) Good night (290) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.

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  (406): I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night. http://tfl.nu/y980
  Replies (6) Good night (323) Bad night (572)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night

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  (620): Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night http://tfl.nu/e9ja
  Replies (1) Good night (533) Bad night (240)
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  (805): View more from California

  I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water

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  (805): I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water http://tfl.nu/4hod
  Replies (3) Good night (1096) Bad night (320)

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