Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.

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  (616): i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold. http://tfl.nu/7qjs
  Replies (22) Good night (1253) Bad night (4511)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both

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  (248): i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both http://tfl.nu/4hk0
  Replies (9) Good night (3059) Bad night (950)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail

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  (205): Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail http://tfl.nu/2rgt
  Replies (8) Good night (1178) Bad night (1653)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?

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  (770): Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich? http://tfl.nu/e2fw
  Replies (17) Good night (2188) Bad night (1122)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.

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  (780): Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing. http://tfl.nu/pkwf
  Replies (37) Good night (1056) Bad night (3312)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Houston, we have a problem

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  where are u?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.

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  (617): Houston, we have a problem (781): where are u? (617): Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here. http://tfl.nu/zyw6
  Replies (44) Good night (15387) Bad night (1573)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.

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  (318): I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter. http://tfl.nu/35y3
  Replies (11) Good night (3972) Bad night (985)
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  (562): View more from California

  Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser

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  (562): Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser http://tfl.nu/nnjn
  Replies (3) Good night (2334) Bad night (959)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.

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  (313): I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges. (1-313): Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss. http://tfl.nu/0qrk
  Replies (4) Good night (3368) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.

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  (518): He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on. http://tfl.nu/5fme
  Replies (11) Good night (2097) Bad night (672)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?

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  (410): What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots? http://tfl.nu/z5fp
  Replies (6) Good night (1177) Bad night (509)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn

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  (910): Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn http://tfl.nu/f45w
  Replies (1) Good night (694) Bad night (818)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?

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  (253): How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head? http://tfl.nu/0ahi
  Replies (6) Good night (835) Bad night (634)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.

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  (843): I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job. http://tfl.nu/6er2
  Replies (1) Good night (1097) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.

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  (914): Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy. http://tfl.nu/p3yo
  Replies (0) Good night (700) Bad night (298)

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