The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Randomize
