Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  You drink too much

  (1-561): View more from Florida

  No, I drink just the right amount - too often.

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  (561): You drink too much (1-561): No, I drink just the right amount - too often. http://tfl.nu/1oor
  Replies (2) Good night (3047) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today

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  (770): I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today http://tfl.nu/te6h
  Replies (41) Good night (5601) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.

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  (314): You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning. http://tfl.nu/x67v
  Replies (42) Good night (986) Bad night (8347)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  what the hell does that mean?

  (208): View more from Idaho

  nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages

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  (208): dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here (1-208): what the hell does that mean? (208): nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages http://tfl.nu/of9o
  Replies (26) Good night (2753) Bad night (4155)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.

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  (717): and on the fourth day, god made foam parties. http://tfl.nu/nmea
  Replies (21) Good night (5157) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.

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  (989): I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA. http://tfl.nu/3qxw
  Replies (5) Good night (1973) Bad night (1090)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas

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  (559): I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas http://tfl.nu/6rrb
  Replies (9) Good night (2319) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.

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  (231): It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me. http://tfl.nu/2ez8
  Replies (9) Good night (586) Bad night (1623)
• Favorite

  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.

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  (+31): Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming. http://tfl.nu/ki11
  Replies (4) Good night (2058) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..

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  (604): I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them.. http://tfl.nu/ddtu
  Replies (3) Good night (413) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.

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  (416): My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss. http://tfl.nu/xbc0
  Replies (9) Good night (1245) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.

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  (601): Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life. http://tfl.nu/h9xw
  Replies (1) Good night (552) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.

  (518): View more from New York

  I'm not going to ask which end you used.

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  (502): So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor. (518): I'm not going to ask which end you used. http://tfl.nu/pddo
  Replies (1) Good night (357) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.

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  (734): So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know. http://tfl.nu/dxb2
  Replies (0) Good night (318) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"

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  (309): Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm" http://tfl.nu/34wj
  Replies (0) Good night (159) Bad night (423)

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