Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona

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(718): View more from New York

I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.

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(516): View more from New York

I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs

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(985): View more from Louisiana

Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(916): View more from California

Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable

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(909): View more from California

I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.

(1-909): View more from California

Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner

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