I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize