Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
