Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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