Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
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A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
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I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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