How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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