he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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