are you still at the devil's house?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
