We're like a lot better than the average bears
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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