I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
