I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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