the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
