I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I look better un-naked...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
