Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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