Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
