He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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