So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
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He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
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i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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