If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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