Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
