Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize