summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
