why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
