We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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