I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
