At least make sure they are 18
Why
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
