The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
