does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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