I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
It was confusing and full of hummus
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
