His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
