he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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