I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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