Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
