I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
