Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
