i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
