Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
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His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
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It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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