Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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