i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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