Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
