You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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