All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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