i just sent this text using only my big toe
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
