Banned from zoo.
Again?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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