Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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