i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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