Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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