Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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