You're earring is so big in my mouth
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
