hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
