is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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