so explain again why im purple
no
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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