I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
