even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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