Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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