Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize