i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
