I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
