You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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