Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
