Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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